ਅਸੂਲ # ੧

***You are your own best friend.***

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-(isrIrwgumhlw1],AMk 20)

Be your own best friend because you are the only person whom you can absolutely rely on every time. Only you can get yourself out of a bad situation. Better yet you can prevent getting into them in the first place. Most of the time others just can’t help you, no matter how hard they try- even if they really want to help, most of the time they’re not capable of doing so.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t have friends. It’s good to have friends. The world would be a very scary place if we didn’t have any to talk to. But it’s more important to have friends who you can actually rely on. You are the best person who could help yourself more than anyone else. You are available at your service 24 hours a day, learn to make yourself more useful.

We just have to learn to rely on ourselves a bit more and look within for the friend.

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I remember reading a story about two childhood friends who stuck together no matter what happened. One of them got wrongfully accused of murder and was sentenced to death by the king.

They took him to the city square and asked him what his final wish was before they were about the hang him. He told the king he wished to see his ailing mother before he was put to death. The king told him he would let him leave to see his mother if he could get someone else to take his place, and if he didn’t come back the other person would be hung instead.

His best friend came forward and told the king he would gladly take his place no matter what happened. The king was very impressed, but cautioned him if his friend did not return in one week’s time he would be put to death. He told the king it wasn’t a problem.

So the other friend went to see his mother. One week was about to pass and the crowd again gathered and the king asked the other friend why he was so foolish to take his friends place. The king ordered the noose be put around his neck. Just as the king was about to signal his death someone from behind the crowd yelled “I’m here.”

Everyone was shocked to see him show up. No one was more surprised to see him more than the king. The king was very impressed and let both of them go and rewarded them with money.
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Earle Birney was a great Canadian poet who wrote David, a fictional poem about two friends. We read this poem in English 10, discussed it and watched a video adaptation of the poem made by the National Film Board of Canada. This is one of the most powerful poems I’ve ever read.

Two friends, Earle Birney and his friend David go mountain climbing somewhere in the Rockies. David slips and falls back first about 20 feet. He’s alive but feels paralyzed with a rock lodged in his spine. David asks Earle to roll him over and throw him down the bigger cliff. Earle refuses and tells David he’ll get help. David asks him to end his misery and throw him over.

This poem is not about mercy killing, it’s about true friendship. If David got medical treatment and survived, he would have had a really bad life confined in a wheelchair. He wouldn’t be able to climb mountains anymore, something he lived for, and Earle Birney would feel bad going alone with him sitting in a wheelchair.
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Two even more powerful examples of friends helping out are of Saen Bhagat and more recently Sant Attar Singh Jee. In both cases Akal Purkh, the bigger friend came to their aid like no one else ever has.
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Bhai Gurdass Jee has written about Sudama Bhraman and how he met Krishan, who after many years still treated him with great respect in spite of of each others status. Read it here.
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Its worth establishing friendship with the big guy up top, it could come in handy one day...